Starwgoh Hogwarts gone backwards
by CherrySodaChocolateMilk
Summary: I know, I know, my tital is awful. No plot in chap. 1 so i can't have a very good summery. WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE A PLOT! ...stupid writer's block... anywayz just Read and Review. Revised with BETTER BUT NOT PERFECTspelling.sry people,i didn't spellcheck b4


Disclaimer: I don't own this. I don't own anything. Nothing is owned by me  
  
Author's Note: This is written by Cherry Soda. Please Read and Review. Read all of the other stories Chocolate Milk and I wrote and read the ones we wrote together. Enjoy....  
  
Hogwarts. The name to some few brings visions of oversized, dirty pigs with acne. But to the upcoming wizards and witches that attend Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft in Wizardry, it brings visions of towers, beasts, exotic plants, stars, water, Quiditch, teachers, evil, horror, good, love, mischief, secrets, and most of all magic.  
  
"Damn that crap in beautiful, Harry!" said Ron Weasley.  
  
Harry and Ron were, uh, not living up to Professor Binns, er, expectations in their History of Magic class. Truthfully, they were in the league of Neville and Goyal. Therefore, to bring up their grade, they took on a couple of extra credit assignments. This one was an essay on Hogwarts's history. The two were not very happy about this. Fifth year boys had plenty of other things on their minds besides schoolwork. Namely two things: You-Know-Who and hormones.  
  
The whole Oh-My-Gaud-You-Know-Who-Is-Like-Going-To-Boil-My-Guts- Someone-Like-Save-My-Ass faise was not quite over. However, some events over the summer made it a little different. Voldemort finally "Came out of the closet" and is currently part of the Society for the Acceptance of Gay English Wizards or as Ron likes to put it: SAGEW. But unlike S.P.E.W., S.A.G.E.W. was not created by Hermione. Ron was very, very happy about that fact.  
  
Ron and Harry have changed over the summer as well.  
  
NOT LIKE VOLDEMORT YOU PERVERTED IDIOTS!  
  
They have become, UNLIKE VOLDEMORT, strait teenagers who were, uh, excited by their, uh, fellow female classmates. Ron imparticular. He stairs at Harmione like all of his dreams are coming true over and over and over. But he would never admit this unless Hermione said she liked him first. Unfortunately, that day has yet to come.  
  
Hermione has also changed over the summer. NOT LIKE VOLDEMORT YOU SICK PEOPLE!!!! But her intrest in the "S" Encyclopedia has increased by a long shot. After a painful breakup with that player, Victor Krum, she had been looking for love. But no one seemed to want a bushy haired girl who memorized half of Hogwarts's library. She was not about to become a slut like some of the other girls in her year. So she just had to wait patently until her love held her in a romantic grasp on a white beach in Fiji and he gently gave her a soft ki--  
  
Anyway, back to the present  
  
"Ron," Harry said, "Let me see what crap you wrote so far."  
  
Ron gave his parchment to Harry. It read this:  
  
Hogwarts is a castle. Hogwarts has a lot of history. Everyone loves Hogwarts. Hogwarts is where the heart is. Hogwarts started a long time ago. Hogwarts was made by some people. The people who did that were named Godric Grifindor, Slazar Slytheren, Helga Huffulpuff, and someone whose name begins with an "R" and her last name is Ravenclaw. Hogwarts is a place where people learn. Hogwarts-  
  
Harry snorted and noticed the margins where filled in. They said:  
  
Hermione. I am a SEXY beast. Growl. Hermione is so hot. Harry is gay. Hermione Granger. KILL DRACO!!!!! I'm too sexy! Malfoy is gay. Snape is gay. I love H.G. I am sooo hot. H.G. + R.W.  
  
"Your going to give Binns a paper with that crap in the margins!" shouted an outraged Harry.  
  
"No, this is my fist draft. I'm not that stupid," replied Ron as if that settled the matter.  
  
They were quite for about ten minutes. Ron continued to write his essay. Harry sat next to him with a beat red face. He was inhaling deeply through his nose.  
  
"I am not gay, Ron," Harry said.  
  
"I know that."  
  
"Then why did you write that shit, you bastard."  
  
"Fine. I'll write it too. Ron....is....gay. There, now you happy?"  
  
"No. Now my best mate is gay."  
  
"I am not!" screamed Ron as he jumped on to Harry. Then they both realized the common room was silent and all of Griffendor heard their conversation and was looking at the curious position they were in.  
  
"Get the fuck off me!" screamed Harry.  
  
The common room, snickering, slowly went back to normal.  
  
Hermione ran over to them from where she sat with Ginny.  
  
"Hey guys!" said Hermione.  
  
"Oi," said Harry and Ron highly embarrassed.  
  
"You know, that was lots of funny," Hermione said.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"  
  
"Ron, chill."  
  
Harry said, "Oi. Who the hell are you?"  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes to the ceiling.  
  
Harry leaned back on the couch, still upset.  
  
Ron imagined Hermione in her underwear.  
  
Author's Note: I know there is NO plot in this but I promise there will be is you people REVIEW!!!! 


End file.
